Grammaropolis
The Writing Company · with the Mayor

Write to Describe

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Write to Describe

When your purpose is to describe, you put the reader in the scene. Pick your path, and walk them through it.

Every description hands your reader a place to stand. Here is what a good one carries now.

  1. A place the reader can enter
    Your scene, named in one sentence. The reader should know where they are standing before anything else happens.
  2. One path through it
    Front to back, top to bottom, or near to far. Pick one path and keep to it. No jumping around.
  3. Details for the senses
    Two senses or more. Two details the reader can sense beat one claim about how it was.
  4. Describing words, woven in
    One exact describing word inside the sentence beats three stacked in front of the noun.
  5. A final detail that lands
    End where your path ends, on the one detail you want the reader to keep.

Spend your tools

The craft moves you already know still do the work, pointed at a description.

Jake portrait

Jake · Show, do not tell

Could we be more specific? Do not tell me it was hard. Give me two things I can picture, the black grease and the chain that would not catch, and I will decide it was hard for myself.

It was really hard. My fingers turned black with grease, and the chain would not stay on the gear.

Nelson portrait

Nelson · Specific nouns

A noun names a person, a place, a thing, or an idea, so pick the precise one. "Thing" tells the reader nothing. "Chain" and "gear" put them right there at the bike. Reach for the precise word.

I fixed the thing on my bike. I looped the chain back onto the gear.

Vinny portrait

Vinny · Strong verbs

Verbs come in shades. "Ran" and "sprinted" both mean go fast, but "sprinted" shows how. "Slipped" and "wrestled" show exactly what happened. Trade up for the verb that shows how.

The chain came off, and I put it back. The chain slipped off, and I wrestled it back on.

Connie portrait

Connie · The seven FANBOYS

Connie keeps seven joining words, the FANBOYS: for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so. Put a comma before one, and two sentences become one. "It slipped, but I kept going."

The chain slipped. I did not give up. The chain slipped, but I did not give up.

The Describe Plan

Same three moves as always, new trip. When your purpose is to describe, the Plan it move is the Path.

The Mayor's Power Plan

  • Pick it. Choose the place worth seeing, and the reader you are putting there.
  • Plan it. Pick your path before you go.
  • Pour it on. Write, and keep pouring: more sense details, woven in one at a time.

The Path

Pick one way through, and the reader will follow you.

  1. Name the place: your scene, in one sentence.
  2. Pick one path: front to back, top to bottom, or near to far.
  3. Details the reader can sense: two senses or more.
  4. Describing words: woven in, one at a time.
  5. Land the last detail: end on the one thing the reader should keep.
Watch the Mayor plan it

Watch me run the plan on something from the bike day: the bike itself, tipped over at the side of the road.

Pick it. The bike, tipped on the bumpy road by the big oak. My reader was not there. My path will walk them down the bike, front to back.

Plan it.

  • The place One tipped-over bike on the bumpy road, halfway to Sam's house.
  • One path Front to back. Handlebars first, then the pedals, then the chain at the back. No jumping around.
  • Sense details The front wheel still ticks as it spins. The grease smells sharp. The metal is warm from the sun.
  • Describing words The bent kickstand. The greasy chain. One exact word each, woven in.
  • The last detail The chain hangs loose under the gear, one link swinging.

Pour it on. When I write it, I walk my path in order: handlebars, pedals, chain. I do not jump to the back and then double back to the front. And I weave my describing words in one at a time. "The greasy chain hangs loose" beats "the old, black, greasy, loose chain." The reader sees more when I pile on less.

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