Grammaropolis
The Writing Company · with the Mayor

Write to Describe

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  3. 3 Practice Try it out
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Write to Describe

When your purpose is to describe, you put the reader in the scene. Hold your path, and let your verbs do real work.

Every description hands your reader a place to stand. Here's what a good one carries now.

  1. A place the reader can enter
    Your scene, named in one sentence. The reader should know where they're standing before anything else happens.
  2. One path through it
    Front to back, top to bottom, or near to far. Pick one path and hold it, start to finish.
  3. Three senses
    Sight is only the first. Give the reader something to hear and something to smell or touch.
  4. Verbs that work
    Rain drums. Smell drifts. Drops find your neck. A strong verb paints more than a stack of describing words.
  5. A final detail that lands
    End where your path ends, on the one detail you want the reader to keep.

Spend your tools

The craft moves you already know still do the work, pointed at a description.

Jake portrait

Jake · Show, don't tell

Could we be more specific? There's a gray version, "the backyard is gloomy and wet," and a painted version, the gray light seeping through the blanket and the smell of wet grass drifting in. Paint it, and the reader feels the gloom without the word.

The backyard is gloomy and wet. Gray light seeps through the blanket above us, and the smell of wet grass drifts in.

Nelson portrait

Nelson · Specific nouns

Listen up. A noun names a person, a place, a thing, or an idea. "My grandma" is common; "Grandma," used as her name, is proper, and it earns a capital G. "The light on the house" is fuzzy; "the porch light" is precise. Name the exact thing, and use the real name when you have one.

Across my grandma's yard, the light on the house glows. Across Grandma's yard, the porch light glows.

Vinny portrait

Vinny · Strong verbs

Fear not! Two jobs here. Pick the precise verb: not "hits" but "drums." And keep your tenses in step. If your picture is happening right now, "drifted" should be "drifts." One slip in tense trips the reader.

Rain hits the wool, and the smell of wet grass drifted in. Rain drums on the wool, and the smell of wet grass drifts in.

Connie portrait

Connie · Compound sentences for rhythm

Come on in! A short sentence lands hard. A compound one, two thoughts joined with a comma and a conjunction, gives the reader room to breathe. Let them take turns, and your picture finds a rhythm.

Rain drums on the wool, and gray light seeps through the weave, and the smell of wet grass drifts in. Rain drums on the wool. Gray light seeps through the weave, and the smell of wet grass drifts in.

The Describe Plan

Same three moves as always, new trip. When your purpose is to describe, the Plan it move is the Path.

The Mayor's Power Plan

  • Pick it. Choose the place worth seeing, and the reader you're putting there.
  • Plan it. Pick your path before you go.
  • Pour it on. Write, and keep pouring: three senses, and verbs that earn their spot.

The Path

Pick one way through, and the reader will follow you anywhere.

  1. Name the place: your scene, in one sentence.
  2. Pick one path: front to back, top to bottom, or near to far.
  3. Three senses: what does the reader see, hear, and smell or touch?
  4. Verbs that work: which verb carries each sentence?
  5. Land the last detail: end on the one thing the reader should keep.
Watch the Mayor plan it

Watch me run the plan on a place from that fort afternoon: Grandma's backyard in the rain, seen from under the blanket.

Pick it. Grandma's backyard, mid-rain, from inside the fort. My reader stayed dry at home. My path runs near to far, from the blanket over our heads to the porch across the yard.

Plan it.

  • The place Grandma's backyard in the rain, seen from inside the fort.
  • One path Near to far. The blanket above us, then the rocks at the corners, then the yard, then the porch.
  • Three senses Gray light seeps through the weave above us. Rain drums on the wool. The smell of wet grass drifts in.
  • Verbs that work Seeps. Drums. Drifts. Each one carries its sentence.
  • The last detail Across the yard, the porch light glows through the rain.

Pour it on. When I write it, I hold my path: blanket, rocks, yard, porch. Three senses, not one. And my verbs do the lifting. Rain drums. Smell drifts. Drops find. A scene with working verbs moves, even when nothing in it's going anywhere.

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